Maknae Musings
by TheAssassinRenevaron
Summary: Taemin's day is the same routine everyday and he's tired of it. He longs for something different, something exciting. One day, while he and Minho are walking to school, something happens that gives him what he wanted,though it wasn't what he wanted.SHINee
1. Chapter 1

Taemin, the youngest member of SHINee, had a lot of responsibilities for a boy his age.

He was still in High School, which added to his busy schedule. He woke up at six-thirty every morning, ate breakfast made by Key, brushed his teeth and hair, and was out the door by seven-thirty, the second youngest of the group, Minho, at his side.

School started at eight-fifteen and ended at five. The members of SHINee had two hours for rest, or in Minho and Taemin's case, homework, before having to be at rehearsal. They didn't get back till nine at night. They had one more hour to do whatever before having to be in bed, Manger's orders, by ten.

On weekends, his schedule was nearly the same, except they had photo-shoots, commercials to advertise, radio stations to talk and sing on, game shows and Dream Team to worry about instead of school.

Stuck with the same old boring and tiresome routine every week was tiring for the group's maknae and he longed for a break from it all. At least for a little while.

Today was no exception. It started off as usual, though this day was certainly more interesting than most.

He was woken by Jonghyun, the second oldest of the group and lead singer.

Taemin rarely woke up on his own. One of the other members, most of the time Key and Minho, would come in to wake him up and drag him from his bed.

The singer bounced on Taemin's bed, grinning sheepishly and shaking their youngest member awake.

"Tae! Wake up!" Jonghyun clapped a hand on Taemin's leg and gave it a gentle pat.

Taemin groaned and shut his eyes tighter, rolling over on his side and bringing the blankets up around his neck.

_How can he have so much energy in the morn__ings?_

Jonghyun laughed and pulled the blankets away.

"Don't make me pull you out of bed." He grinned.

"_Hyung~!_" Taemin whined, yanking the blankets away from the older boy and bringing them up to his nose.

Jonghyun began to hum a familiar tune, making Taemin open his eyes a little.

_Juliet?_

"Taemin~ "Jonghyun sung, adding his own lyrics but keeping with the tune...sort of. "You can do it, little maknae. Will you get up? If you keep sleeping, Key will be upset 'cause you missed break_fast! _" Jonghyun held out the note, his eyes closed then cut it short when he realized that Taemin was still not willing to get out of bed.

"Alright, Taemin-ah, you asked for it!" Jonghyun chuckled and grabbed hold of Taemin's ankles then proceeded to drag the maknae off his bed.

Taemin, letting out a squeak, clutched at his blankets and latched on the top of the bunk bed that he shared with their leader, Onew.

He held on to it for dear life, hanging suspended in the air, Jonghyun holding his ankles.

Jonghyun was still laughing, which caused Taemin, despite the rude awakening, to laugh too.

His eyes widened when his fingers began to slip, his muscles not yet awake and functioning properly.

He paled.

_If he let go…that would hurt._

He would land exactly on the wood unless Jonghyun managed to catch him before he fell which was nearly unlikely. The lead singer was too busy laughing.

Luckily Minho came in at the right moment, having entered the bedroom to retrieve his bag. The lead rapper rushed forward and released Taemin's ankles from Jonghyun's grasp. Taemin, before he could hit the wood of the bunk bed and while he still had strength in his arms, used the muscles in his arm to swing himself up and safely onto the bed.

Taemin grinned at Minho who offered a small smirk in return.

The second oldest turned around casually, snatched his bag from where it was lying on his bed, and then walked out.

Taemin and Jonghyun stared after him before Jonghyun turned around and grinned at his maknae, offering Taemin a hand.

Taemin took it and used Jonghyun's weight to pull himself up then the two of them followed Minho out the door.

SHINee's youngest rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawning largely and followed his hyung to the kitchen.

Onew and Minho were sitting at the table and Key was running around the kitchen, preparing breakfast for them.

Onew had his head on the table, still half-asleep, whereas Minho looked wide-awake, just troubled.

Jonghyun slid into the seat next to Onew and clapped a hand on the leader's back, grinning as always.

Taemin sat down next to Minho and watched as Key stirred something in one of the pots.

He frowned.

"Hyung? May I help?" He asked, hating to see Key work so hard for them even though he did it willingly.

Key smiled at him and gently shook his head.

"It's fine Taeminnie." Key sung, using the nickname Taemin had received from his older band members.

At first Taemin had resented the nickname, it made him sound young…weak, but now he had grown to accept it. After all, if his hyung's had bothered to give him a nickname, that meant they cared, right?

"Can I at least put the dishes on the table?" Taemin asked.

Key's smile widened, then it turned into a frown as the timer went off on the oven signifying that something was done.

"On second thought…maybe you _can_ help." Key muttered.

Taemin stood up, smiling brightly. He loved helping his "mother" cook.

"Stir the noodles for me please, while I get these rolls out of the oven."

Taemin nodded and did as he said.

Normally in Korea they had soup for breakfast and occasionally rice as a side dish but after traveling all over the world, and eating a large variety of foods, the band had changed their breakfasts depending on what they had liked the most in their travels.

This morning, Key was making buttered potatoes, a soup, apple-buttered rolls and fried apples.

Taemin's mouth watered at the smell.

Key pulled the rolls out of the oven and took everything else off the heat as Taemin put the plates and silverware down on the table in front of his hungry hyungs.

After eating and getting ready for the school day, Taemin and Minho left side by side in their school uniforms with their bags slung over their shoulders.

They walked to school every morning, enjoying one another's company and preferring to act like any normal kid their age.

They got enough attention as it was at school, they didn't want to add to it by arriving in a limo or anything.

"Minho-ah, what's wrong?" Taemin asked, noticing that Minho had not spoken all morning.

_Maybe it's that math test…? I know he's going to ace it, though, so why should he be worried? _

"Nothing. A lot on my mind…that's all." Minho replied in his deep voice, staring down at the ground.

Taemin frowned then suddenly smiled, his eyes and face brightening.

He slipped out of his backpack and carried it in his arms as they walked, unzipping it and fumbling with trying to find something, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth and his face scrunched up cutely.

Minho couldn't help but smile as he watched him.

Taemin's face brightened again when he caught hold of what he was looking for.

"Aha!" The maknae cried, revealing a small carton of banana milk.

"Will this help, hyung?" Taemin asked, his eyes bright.

Minho smiled and chuckled.

He shook his head.

"Aniyo, Taeminnie, you drink it." Minho said, smiling still.

Taemin look disappointed and pouted a little.

"_Please_, hyung? I don't like seeing you sad." He whispered, lowering his head, his golden hair falling over his eyes.

_Pouting, puppy eyes and banana milk. __**Always**__ works on hyung._

Minho grinned and captured his maknae in a gentle headlock, ruffling his hair.

Taemin smiled and looked up at him.

_Heh. See?_

"Please, hyung?" He asked again, giving Minho his notorious puppy eyes.

Finally, Minho sighed.

"Fine, if it will quiet you, noisy little maknae. " Minho said, feigning that he was annoyed with Taemin.

But Taemin, after having spent a few years with him, saw right through it. He passed the banana milk over to his hyung and grabbed one for himself.

Taemin brought his carton up slightly above eye level, holding it up.

"To a good day." He smiled.

Minho nodded.

"To a good day." He agreed, bumping their cartons of banana milk together.

They crossed the streets, using the crosswalk to get across the busy road, without really paying much attention as they took sips of their banana milk and Minho talked to Taemin about the math test he was taking first period.

Minho frowned when he saw Taemin's eyes widen.

"Taemin-ah? What's wrong? Did you forget something –?"

"Minho! Look out!" Taemin yelled, cutting him off.

Minho whipped around and saw the truck speeding towards them.

Quickly, he wrapped his arms around Taemin and attempted to dodge out of the way, trying to get the both of them to safety.

All that mattered in his brain right now was to save Taemin. He didn't even think about himself.

The truck hit them both head on, sending Taemin flying from Minho's arms and Minho skidding across the road.

His vision blackened and he could feel blood gushing down his head, he felt a rib crack as it collided with the road and his head slam into the asphalt.

Taemin lay a few feet away, unmoving.

"Tae – " Minho whispered, wincing in pain as he reached for his maknae.

His hand fell short, just inches away from Taemin's blonde hair.

He forced himself to move, to crawl to Taemin's side.

The effort it took was horrendous and so was the pain, but with sheer willpower, he got there.

He draped himself over Taemin's body and wrapped his arms around him, feeling tears run down his cheeks.

"Taemin." He sobbed. "Don't die. Don't be dead. You can't…you _can't_ die on me."

He ignored the people yelling and screaming, ignored the press taking photos, ignored the cameras rolling and ignored the ambulance and police sirens that were in the distance. All that mattered was Taemin.

He wanted to keep his eyes open, to see if Taemin was all right, but his eyes closed against his will and was encased in black.

A/N: A story about SHINee! Yay! This my first story about them so I'm sorry if they are out of character. I tried to make them as in-character as possible but...not sure. So what do you think? Good? Crappy? Not worthy of having adorable Taemin and Minho in it? I'd like to know what you think so review please and thank you for reading! :D

EDIT: I edited ALL these chapters, added some more details, fixed the spelling errors I found etc. ENJOY :)


	2. Chapter 2

Onew threw on his coat and slipped into his shoes, humming to himself.

Minho and Taemin were off at school; Key at the market and Jonghyun out practicing.

He had a whole day to himself and he planned to spend it peacefully. He was going to go walk around the lake and he would figure out what he would want to do after that, when he got there.

_Maybe I'll go buy some chicken and eat it at a park…_Onew smiled. 

He decided he liked the sound of that.

He was nearly out the door when the phone rang, making him groan inwardly.

He sighed, knowing it wouldn't be anything important. His band mates, family, manager and their friends from other bands always called their cell phones. Usually the only people that called their dorm were fans who somehow managed to keep getting their number.

He took off his shoes and tossed his car keys onto the kitchen table.

He picked up the phone when he got into the living room, which was a room away from the kitchen.

"Hello?" He asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

_Can't a guy go for a walk around here?_

"Is this Lee Jinki?" A deep male voice accustomed to revealing bad news said.

Onew froze.

Only his family called him by his real name, not even his fellow band members, which were like sons to him, called him by his real name.

"…Yes." He said slowly, suspicion and caution in his voice.

The man on the other end of the line sighed.

"I'm afraid I have bad news."

* * *

><p>Onew dialed a familiar number into his phone without thinking about it, putting the number in unconsciously. His hands were shaking and it was all he could do to hold the phone in his hands and order his weak fingers to move. His eyes were filling up with tears and one spilled from his eyes and dripped onto the screen of the phone.<p>

Sniffing, he wiped it off quickly with his thumb, not wanting to see the picture he had as his desktop background.

All of them together at the pool, smiling, laughing and splashing Taemin.

He held the phone up to his ear and waited for his friend to pick up his phone.

* * *

><p>Jonghyun frowned when he heard his phone ring from the pocket of his coat, which was draped over one of the chairs in the practice room.<p>

He halted in his dancing to Lucifer, then ran to pause his ipod.

He made his way over to the chair, reached for a towel and slung it over his shoulders, then dug around in his pocket for his phone.

"'ello?" He asked, panting and out of breath.

"J-Jonghyun, something ha-ha-happened – "Onew cut himself off and began to sob.

Jonghyun's eyes widened.

_What happened?_

Onew wasn't the type to cry for no reason…and when he did, it hadn't been _this_ bad.

"Onew! What's wrong? What happened? "Jonghyun demanded. The tiredness in his muscles and all other feelings were forgotten, the only one remaining was fear.

Onew managed to stop sobbing long enough to say:

"It's T-Taemin and Min-Minho…t-they never, "A large sniff. "Made it to school today..."

Jonghyun's eyes widened and his phone from fell from his hands.

"What? " He yelled, fumbling with trying to catch his phone. He caught it, luckily, before it hit the ground and held it back up to his ear, his eyes wide.

"They were hit by…" Onew took a deep breath to calm himself. "They were hit by a drunk driver…the doctors don't know if Taemin w-w-will live…"

He felt tears well up in his eyes and he was silent for a minute, trying to get his emotions under control.

"W-what about Minho? "

He felt a stray tear run down his cheek.

_This...this can't be happening! This is just a joke...a prank, right? Or a dream? I'll wake up in a minute to the smell of Key's breakfast! Y-yeah! Then I'll go and wake Taemin up like usual! _

"…He's in much better shape than Tae…the most serious injury he has is a mild concussion. " Onew said in an almost whisper, sniffing occasionally.

Jonghyun wiped his eyes on his forearm.

_I-It's true isn't it?_

_I have to be strong for the others…_

"C-call Key and tell him what happened. I'll meet you both at the hospital." His voice shook with suppressed tears but he waited until Onew said goodbye and hung up the phone before collapsing to his knees and letting the tears run down his face.

* * *

><p>Gray clouds obscured the sky and the air was fairly cold. The rain came down in drizzles.<p>

Minho gazed at the newspaper in his hand. On the front page the details of the accident were listed and in the center was a picture of a familiar face, one that he felt he should know...one that was dead.

Brown eyes stared up at him and blonde hair caught his eye.

He felt like he should know their name too.

Minho set the newspaper down on the table and switched his focus to the rain-splattered window.

He leaned his elbow against the windowsill and rested his braced hand lightly on the top of his head, his fingers combing through his hair. He sighed.

Across the hospital was the graveyard and in that graveyard, he spotted a freshly dug grave. The grave had been dug only two hours before.

He stared at it, the memory of the accident flashing into his head again though he couldn't remember important details.

_He caught the eye of the driver and both their eyes were laced with fear._

_Minho didn't think, just acted._

_He grabbed a blonde-haired boy around the waist and dove foreword, hoping to get them both to safety._

_It didn't work._

_He wasn't fast enough._

_They were hit; Minho in the ribs and the impact made the blonde boy soar from his arms and hit the road, then roll out of Minho's reach. __Minho was tossed after him, but he was a good two feet away from the boy who he felt he should know, love and protect._

_He pushed himself up to his feet, ignoring the pain the movement brought, and stumbled over to the boy, clutching at his ribcage and swaying as if he were drunk._

_He fell over the boy and held him in his arms._

_The boy didn't move and Minho couldn't tell if he was dead or alive._

_He felt tears run down his cheeks –_

The door opened, ruining Minho's thought process.

He turned around and saw more familiar faces; their names were on the tips of his tongue.

Onew, Key and Jonghyun…he couldn't tell who was who and couldn't figure out what name he was missing. There was someone else, wasn't there?

They looked tired as they walked in the room, carrying balloons, presents and get well cards.

Their hair was ruffled, dark bags were under their eyes and their eyes were red from crying recently.

"Minho-ah…" One of them, the shortest of the group with brown, short hair with blonde tips, whispered.

"How are you feeling? " Another one asked, the tallest of the three. His voice was calming, gentle. His voice was one that was used to comforting.

The third remained silent, watching Minho with sad eyes. He was the second tallest with brown, bushy and slightly windswept hair. His eyes were the reddest out of all of them.

Minho stood and walked over to the three of them, limping slightly.

He pulled them all into a tight hug even though he couldn't recall their names at that moment.

He felt comfort was what they all needed right now, even the smallest of actions would help.

"It's all going to be okay." He told them.

The shortest, the one with blonde and brown hair, began to shake violently in Minho's arms.

The other two began to sob quietly.

Minho felt like he should be crying too but his eyes remained dry as he awkwardly patted their backs.

Finally the young man with brown and blonde hair began to sob too and Minho felt like that was something not easy for him to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I've taken so long to update, but I have TWO NEW CHAPTERS FOR YOU 8D This starts off as a sad chapter...then get's better with Chamgmin and Onew's help! Trust the two of them to make everything better :D This is in Jonghyun's point of view, then the next will be in Onew's POV. I re-wrote (or actually edited) the last chapter. Thank you all for being so patient with me and for reviewing/reading :P I really does mean a lot when someone reads my stories. So, please enjoy! SHINee fighting!**

* * *

><p>Jonghyun kicked at a rock on the sidewalk, his hands in the pockets of his black leather coat. He watched the rock roll away and bounce into a puddle on the street, hearing the tiny splash that followed.<p>

Normally he would have gone over and retrieved the rock to kick it again or find a different one, but he didn't, he stopped and stared at the rock lying in the puddle of water.

"_I'm hungry…"Jonghyun whined, his hands stuffed in his pant pockets, his gate becoming shuffled as he complained._

_He looked over at Taemin, seeing the younger boy smile._

"_You're always hungry, hyung. " Taemin laughed, kicking at a rock. _

_The two of them watched it bound away and plop into a puddle to lay motionless. _

_Taemin ran to retrieve it, kicking it to Jonghyun before running back to the sidewalk. _

_When he was safely off the road, Jonghyun kicked it back to him and Taemin kicked it again, watching as the rock bounced back into the road and through the slits of a drain cover. _

_Jonghyun laughed at the expression on Taemin's face, his previous hunger forgotten at the moment._

_Taemin smiled, playfully shoving Jonghyun. _

"_It's not funny, hyung! That was a good rock! "He laughed._

_They walked in a comfortable silence for a moment, smiling._

"_I'm still hungry, "Jonghyun stated, a grin appearing on his face. _

_Taemin laughed again, making Jonghyun's grin widen._

"_We can get food after we're done shopping. Key-hyung won't be very happy with us if we return and don't have the groceries. "_

_Jonghyun laughed._

"_Yah! Why can't we get food first – "_

"_Whoa! Hyung look! "Taemin suddenly cried, cutting off Jonghyun's protest. _

_Jonghyun halted, his eyes curious as Taemin raced ahead of him, pointing excitedly at something in the window of one of the shops._

_He walked over to the maknae when Taemin waved to him franticly. _

_He couldn't help but laugh when he saw what Taemin was so excited about._

_A bear. A big, white, fuzzy, stuffed bear that was as tall as Minho. _

"_Taemin-ah, aren't you a little too big for toys? " He asked, flipping his black hair out of his eyes._

_Taemin glanced at him, excitement in his eyes._

"_Hyung look how big it is! " Taemin cried. Jonghyun rolled his eyes playfully, though he had to admit the bear was kind of cute, staring at him with big button eyes._

"_It reminds me of home. When I was little, my mom made me a bear like this, only not so big. It was about half the size of this one. "Taemin sighed. _

_Jonghyun rose an eyebrow, suddenly imagining Taemin carrying around this big bear. _

_How adorable would that be?_

"_Do you want it, Taemin? " He asked, surprised that he was willing to get the bear for him. _

_Taemin turned around to look at him, his eyes wide._

"_I know you've been feeling a little homesick," Jonghyun said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I thought maybe it would cheer you up…"_

_Taemin seemed torn, between wanting the bear and not wanting Jonghyun to buy it for him._

"_That's okay, hyung. Thank you so much though-"_

"_Taemin, I offered to buy it! " Jonghyun cried, smiling as he ruffled the boy's black hair. "If I didn't want to get it for you, I wouldn't have asked. If you want it, I'll buy it for you. Really! "_

_Taemin smiled and blushed a little, embarrassed that Jonghyun offered to buy him the bear. _

_He glanced at the bear, then at Jonghyun, then back to the bear again._

_A slow smile appeared on his face._

"_That's okay, hyung, really! It's probably really expensive. You can buy lunch though! " Taemin turned to face him, his eyes bright and a teasing smile on his face._

_Jonghyun laughed._

"_Yah! Buy lunch for you? You eat so much that I think buying the bear for you would be cheaper! " He cried. Taemin's laughter mingled with his own and it was one of the sweetest sounds Jonghyun had ever heard, like two melodies harmonizing._

Jonghyun shook his head, clearing away the memory. It was too painful to think about…

It had begun raining while he had been reminiscing. For the moment it wasn't coming down very hard and for that he was grateful. It felt like the rain was matching his sorrowful emotions…

He resumed walking, lost in his thoughts, the rain coming down harder. His hair and clothes had already become soaked and were beginning to stick to his body. The raindrops ran down his face like tears and he blinked, trying to keep the water from his hair dripping into his eyes and to clear away the real tears that threatened to pour down his face.

He suddenly froze when he saw the store that had once held the bear Taemin had wanted but refused to let him buy.

He ran over to the window and peered inside, his hands pressing up against the window desperately. His breath hitched and his throat constricted, his heart started pounding rapidly against his rib cage.

Sure enough, there it was.

The bear.

It was sitting in the corner of the window, it's head drooping and it's big, black, buttoned eyes reflecting Jonghyun's sorry reflection.

Jonghyun stared at the reflection in it's eyes.

He looked like a broken man.

His eyes were red from holding in tears, his hair was a mess and plastered to his skull, the white t-shirt under his leather coat stuck to his skin, the rain dripped from his hair and traced his jawline to meet at his chin where it dripped down to the ground. The desperate and sad look in his eyes was enough to show him how much the accident with Minho and Taemin had changed him, had changed _all_ of them.

Key cried himself to sleep every night. Onew continued to blame himself for the accident even when everyone tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault. Minho couldn't remember anything and was beating himself up about it…

Once they had all been happy. They were famous all around the world, they were young, they had a lot of money, they were good-looking, they were amazing singers and dancers, millions, if not _billions_, of people adored them…

They had been living a dream.

That was until the accident changed it all.

Their fans and their status hadn't changed. Millions of people still loved them, they were still great singers and dancers, they still had a lot of money and they were all still young but…with Taemin…

They would never truly be the same again, not after this accident. Even if Minho recovered it still wouldn't be the same. Their maknae had brought life to their group, gave them hope, energy and always persuaded them to continue to live their dream even if it was hard. He never gave up.

_But the rest of us are…_

Their manager had canceled all their schedules, to give them time off and time to recoup from the accident. They've had nothing to do but blame themselves and mope around the house, trying to find something to do that would raise all their spirits. Jonghyun had actually wished that their manager hadn't canceled their practices because it would have given them something to do to keep their minds off Minho and Taemin.

They visited the hospital every day and ended up spending most of their time there, but it still wasn't enough.

The only one still holding a little hope was Jonghyun and that was becoming less and less as each day passed by.

The others had completely given up.

_I'm not about to let Taemin down…I can't give up…_

Jonghyun focused his eyes on the bear again and suddenly knew what he had to do.

He raced into the shop, ignoring the startled cries of surprise from the customers and employees.

Kim Jonghyun from SHINee was in their store.

Jonghyun bowed slightly to the lady working behind the counter and muttered a hello, gave a small wave and a sad smile to the squealing girls in the corner of the store, and made his way over to the bear.

He wrapped his arms around the big toy and carried it over to the counter, holding the bear in a large hug and refusing to let it go.

_Taemin…_

He spotted a very familiar drink towards the side of the store and asked the clerk to wait a second. He released the bear and raced towards the refrigerator to grab a dozen cartons of banana milk, Taemin's favorite drink, smiling the whole way.

He spotted a bunch of snacks too and picked them up, picking out everyone's favorite.

Maybe he could improve the mood of his friends.

He placed the items on the counter and waited as the lady rung up the prices.

* * *

><p>He knew, as he walked the streets of Seoul, that he must look ridiculous.<p>

A big white bear was held in his arms tightly and a plastic bag was hanging from his shoulder, containing banana milk and snacks. The bear was much bigger than him and it was all he could do to see around the big animal so he didn't wander into people.

Several people laughed at the sight of him carrying the big white bear and most took pictures.

_How much you want to bet that this is going on the internet? _

It had, luckily, stopped raining and the bad weather was replaced with a somewhat clear, sunny sky.

He only ran into one person, thankfully, on his way and was extremely embarrassed when it turned out to be a member of one of the other groups, Changmin from the group TVXQ.

He quickly apologized to his hyung, the both of them laughing.

"I didn't expect to run into you today, "Changmin smiled. "…or your bear. "He added with a grin.

Jonghyun smiled.

"It's nice to see you again, hyung. "

Changmin smiled.

"Where are you going?" He asked, walking with Jonghyun as he made his way to the hospital.

Jonghyun peered over at him from the bear.

"To the hospital…"He said quietly.

Changmin's eyes widened.

"Why? What happened?"

Jonghyun understood his hyung's confusion. Their manager hadn't told the rest of the groups yet and had attempted to keep the news from spreading outside the company, but word had gotten out through the internet and the papers. It seems that Changmin still hadn't heard about the incident.

He quietly explained to Changmin everything that happened as they walked.

As the story went on, Changmin's face became paler and paler and he lost his usual good energy.

"Ah man…i-it's a lot to take in…"

Jonghyun nodded sadly.

"Jonghyun…if there's anything you or the rest of your members need…don't hesitate to call, alright? "

Jonghyun nodded again, not able to face the look of pity on Changmin's face.

Changmin decided to try and change the subject quickly.

"What's with the bear?" He asked, and then he suddenly grinned. "Is it for your girlfriend?"

Jonghyun laughed, shaking his head.

"No! It's for-"He cut himself off quickly and swallowed past the lump that had risen to his throat.

"Taemin?" Changmin asked quietly.

Jonghyun nodded sadly.

A couple steps later, Jonghyun saw Changmin stop walking from the corner of his eye and he stopped as well, wondering why his elder had suddenly stopped walking.

"Hyung – umph! " Jonghyun's eyes widened when he, and the bear, were pulled into a hug.

_I wasn't expecting that…_

"It's going to be alright Jonghyun…we will all get through this together." Changmin whispered as Jonghyun hugged him back and buried his head in the older boy's shoulder.

* * *

><p>Jonghyun stopped in front of the hospital, an ice-cream cone, courtesy of Changmin, in one hand, the bear and the bag of snacks in the other. The snacks were looped around his wrist and the bear was being held under his arm, pressed up tightly against the singer's side.<p>

He was certainly in a much better mood after Changmin had taken him out for ice-cream and a bite to eat. The older boy's humor and good mood had freed him from his sorrow temporarily.

"Jonghyun!"

Jonghyun looked over towards the sound of a familiar voice, smiling.

"Onew!" He waved, the movement awkward with his hands so full.

"Where have you been?" SHINee's leader asked, jogging over to him. "And…what is that?"

Jonghyun followed his hyung's finger.

"Oh. I-It's a bear…"

Onew smiled.

"Aren't you a little too old to be playing with toys?"

The question hit Jonghyun like a wave, squeezing the air from his lungs.

_Taemin-ah, aren't you a little too big to be playing with toys?_

Jonghyun bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, turning away from Onew.

"Jong? Are you okay? " Onew asked in concern, placing a hand on Jonghyun's shoulder.

Jonghyun nodded quickly.

"Fine. " He tried to reassure the older boy. "Let's get inside, " He added hastily. "I've brought snacks for everyone…and I don't want my ice cream to melt. "

Onew nodded slowly, concern still written on his face.

"Let me help…" He murmured, reaching for the bear.

Jonghyun shook his head, his jaw clenched.

"No! Um…s-sorry…I want to carry the bear…could you carry these please?" Jonghyun bit his lip again and handed his hyung the bag containing the snacks he brought.

Onew's face brightened when he saw the candy and banana milks inside.

"Mmm…I'll buy chicken too! That'll improve everyone's mood too! "

Jonghyun grinned.

_Hyung, is chicken all you think about? And are you sure chicken **with Taemin's face** on the cover will improve everyone's mood? It may help Minho remember him but…_

Jonghyun shrugged and followed their leader inside.

At least it would improve _Onew's_ mood.

He laughed when Onew tripped going up the stairs and quickly did a pushup, acting like that was what he was doing.

He glanced at Jonghyun.

"1..2..3!"

Jonghyun laughed again.

"Hyung! You probably just broke all the candy!"

"Nooo~!"Onew stood up and dusted himself off before making sure the candy was in one piece. "See?" Onew shoved the bag towards Jonghyun who rolled his eyes with a smile.

_I'm glad he's in a good mood today...he's acting like his old self again. See what candy can do to a person? ...Or maybe it was the chicken?_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm sorry there's a lot of crying and stuff in this chapter. It's been about a week since the incident and the SHINee members are still taking it hard. But if it seems a little too unrealistic, let me know please. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

><p>Onew led the way into the hospital room, Jonghyun and Key shuffling behind him. Key was sobbing quietly into Jonghyun's shoulder and the older boy tried to comfort his friend with comforting words, hugs and other small gestures.<p>

Onew bit his lip and tried to ignore the sounds of crying and the pain on the two band member's faces.

He hung his head as he opened the wooden door.

_This is all my fault…I could have taken them to school or-or walked with them! Something! They didn't deserve this…_

He felt his eyes mist again and the felt tears run down his face when he saw two familiar people at the edge of the bed.

Onew's gaze traveled to Taemin's mother and father, then to Minho. Taemin's father was talking quietly to Minho, saying what sounded like reassuring words and thanks for looking out for Taemin all these years. Their maknae's mother held Minho's hand in her's, tears running down her face.

Minho wouldn't look Taemin's father in the eye, only nodding sadly.

It wasn't long before they noticed the three band members walk in.

Onew bowed before Taemin's parents, Jonghyun and Key doing the same after him.

He had only met them once or twice, but they were good people. He felt they needed to be shown respect.

They bowed back and muttered a greeting.

Minho coughed awkwardly as the tension in the air increased and the silence became too intense.

His cough brought Jonghyun back to earth first.

"Minho-ah…the doctor said you could get up and walk around the hospital if you wanted…" The second-oldest said quietly.

Key nodded, rubbing at his eyes.

"We've g-got to s-s-show you something." Key gulped and buried his face in Jonghyun's shoulder again.

Minho nodded and quietly excused himself to Taemin's parents, then rose to follow his hyungs out the door after they all bowed and said their goodbyes to Taemin's family.

Onew wrapped an arm around Minho's shoulders as they walked, Jonghyun doing the same for Key whose sobs were turning into small hiccups.

"Where are we going…?" Minho asked quietly, his breathing becoming labored.

Onew slowed their pace, noticing Minho's pronounced limp.

"You'll see…" Onew's arm tightened around Minho's shoulder and he bit his lip.

"What room number is it? " Jonghyun asked, he and Key catching up to them.

Key answered before Onew could even open his mouth.

"Room 192 on the third floor, " He sniffed, wiping his eyes on his coat sleeve.

Jonghyun patted his back and tussled his hair, sadness clear in his eyes as he tried to whisper more encouraging words.

Minho could feel his temper rising. He wanted to know what was going on! He was still having trouble matching everyone's faces with their names…he knew that they all belonged in a group called SHINee, that they were all really close friends, that he was the second-youngest and that Onew-hyung was the oldest and the leader. He didn't know who the oldest was between Key and Jonghyun or who the youngest member of their group was. He just knew that he was the blonde-haired boy whose face haunted his memory, taunting him.

His hyungs hadn't mentioned the accident or spoken about the blonde-haired boy in front of him.

He had so many questions and not enough answers.

"Minho, are you okay?" A gentle voice asked and Minho looked up to see Key looking at him, concern in his eyes. Key fixed Minho's hair, running his fingers through the messy long, locks, his eyebrows coming together in a frown.

"So messy!" Key huffed under his breath, talking about Minho's hair.

Minho nodded in response to Key's earlier question, recognizing the older boy. He didn't want to worry his group members, they were going through enough as it was.

He looked around, realizing that they had come into an elevator while he was thinking. Jonghyun and Onew were talking quietly in the corner, glancing at him occasionally.

Key held his hand tightly, offering silent comfort.

Minho lowered his head, not wanting to meet the concerned gazes of his friends.

"You're mad at yourself for not remembering anything…aren't you? " Key suddenly asked, surprising Minho.

Minho looked up at him, staring at him in confusion and suspicion before slowly nodding. Key had maintained a blank expression, staring at the wall absently, as Minho stared at him, but now, after seeing Minho nod slightly from the corner of his eye, the blank façade shattered.

"Oh Minho…It's not your fault…" Key sighed, pulling the younger boy into a large hug. Minho's arms hung limply by his side, his head buried in Key's shoulder.

_It __**is**__ my fault…I could have saved him…I should have looked before crossing the street…_

He was hardly aware of the elevator stopping, them getting out or walking down the hall.

A gentle ruffling of his hair from Jonghyun got his attention back and he looked at his hyung, who was trying to grin at him. The result looked more like a grimace.

They reached a door with the numbers 192 in gold, and Onew glanced at the three of them before opening the door slowly.

What Minho saw inside made him gasp.

He felt his legs go weak and felt a tear run down his cheek, quickly followed by another as memories rushed into his head.

"Taemin…" He croaked.


	5. Chapter 5

Key flipped a page in the newspaper, sitting with one leg draped over the other, a bored look on his face.

He glanced at their youngest member, his face sorrowing immediately.

"Taemin, why won't you wake up…?" The only answer to Key's question was the steady beep that came from the heart monitor.

"You're safe now…so I don't understand…" Key took the boy's hand in his, wiping his tears away with his other arm.

Every time he laid eyes on SHINee's maknae, it felt like a stab to the heart.

_I know I shouldn't blame myself…but I do…just like Onew, just like Minho…what would have happened if I had let Tae and Minho stay home from school? Maybe you'd be still be okay if Minho hadn't had that math test, and wasn't so worried about it, that he forgot to look both ways before crossing the road? Normally, Taemin was cautious before crossing too but…_

Key shook his head, clearing it of his nagging thoughts.

_I need to stop beating myself up over this…_

After staring at the maknae for a little while, hoping for a response, Key sighed and slumped back in his chair.

He wished for something, _anything_, but silence. Just a twitch of a finger would help. But there was nothing, there was _always_, nothing.

"I just want you to be okay…" He whispered, his voice choking with emotions.

Key reached his free hand out and brushed his fingers through Taemin's silky hair, humming softly as way to distract himself from the situation.

He smiled slightly.

It just looked like Taemin was sleeping, that's all. His eyes were closed peacefully and, if not for the oxygen mask covering his face, or the IV in his arm, it would have looked normal.

"Taeminnie? What did you think of Jonghyun's present?" He asked, referring to the large bear the lead singer had brought in earlier along with the banana milk, which they were waiting to share until Onew got back from his meeting with their Manager.

"He's a good hyung to you, isn't he? Yah, I should have thought of getting you a big teddy bear! How dare he think of that first!" Key joked, chuckling slightly.

When Jonghyun had come into the room with a bear larger than he was, Key hadn't known what to do. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry both in happiness and sadness. So he settled for a smile instead and went over to give their strong singer a large hug.

"You know…Minho and Onew are good hyungs to you too. Minho-ah has always been there for you, you always seemed to be more comfortable around him then the rest of us when we first met. Maybe it was an age thing…or maybe it's just because he's always so quiet and laid back." Key couldn't help but smile. "Jjong and Jinki-hyung are always so loud! You're quiet too…so that's why I think you and Minho-ah got along so well at the start. Now, Onew-hyung…he cares a lot more about you than you think. He may be awkward and clumsy, and may not know how to say how much he loves you but…he does. We all do, Taemin."

He had read once in a health magazine that playing music, reading or talking to a person who is in a coma will help them.

_We should all get together and sing Replay for Taemin…our first song…I think he'd like that._

"What do you think, Taeminnie? Would you like us to sing for you? Jonghyun-hyung is an amazing singer…and he was training you! Minho-ah – you remember him don't you? – is an amazing rapper too. Onew-hyung, he's our leader, Taemin – "

A knock at the door interrupted Kim Kibum from his rambling and he stopped and turned towards the door to see Jonghyun enter.

Key smiled and gave him a small wave, which he returned.

"How's Taemin?" Jonghyun asked quietly.

Key didn't fail to notice the dark bags under the older boy's eyes, and he frowned.

"Good. I was just telling him that we would sing Replay for him."

Jonghyun grinned, though it was without its usual life.

"That's a good idea. We should play all our songs for him, one every day. Just until he gets better...it won't be the same, without Tae that is, but…it might help."

Key nodded, smiling.

"That's what I was thinking."

He sat back in the chair again, picking up the newspaper and absently thumbing through it as he watched Jonghyun slowly walk towards Taemin's bed.

He almost smiled.

It was almost like Jonghyun was scared.

"Yah, do you think he'll bite-" He started saying but stopped with a gasp.

Jonghyun's head snapped up and his face went from concern to fear.

"Key?"

Jonghyun's voice seemed far away, almost like it came from a whole other world, as Key stared at the picture in the paper.

There he was.

That man.

He took in the man's blonde hair and big, brown eyes, saw the smiling face…

His shoulders started to shake with both rage and sadness.

This man ruined their lives – there was still a chance that he could take Taemin's, since no one was sure the boy was going to wake – and here he was _smiling._

In a fit of rage, Key stood up rapidly, knocking down the chair and bumping the nightstand. The glass lamp that had once rested there, tumbled towards the ground and shattered.

No one this mattered to Key, for he couldn't stop staring at the picture…

Key through the newspaper as far as he could, a choked sob and a cry of outrage leaving his throat, before collapsing to his knees amongst the glass shards that dusted the floor.

He heard Jonghyun screaming his name, heard the heart monitor's consistent beeping quicken, felt the glass cutting into his palms and his knees, and felt Jonghyun's strong arms wrap around him protectively…but he didn't care. He just wanted Taemin back.

He wanted everything to be _normal_ again.

With an anguished scream he curled up in a ball, sobbing like a baby.

"Key…Key, it's going to be all right." Jonghyun's soft voice, thick with his own tears, made its way through his fuzzy consciousness and he looked up at him with tear-stained eyes.

"How can you say everything's going to be all right! How could you! Nothing is ever going to be the same again!"

Jonghyun looked slightly hurt that Key had yelled at him.

Kibum_ never_ yelled at him, he never yelled at _anyone._

That was one of the good things about their group; they never fought with one another. They had disagreements, sure, everyone did. They sometimes got a little mad at one another, but there's never been a full out fight between them. If they said something that hurt the other than an hour or two later, if not sooner, they would apologize and everything would be fine.

Key flinched upon seeing the look on his hyung's face but he pushed it aside.

Jonghyun swallowed hard before carefully choosing his next words.

"Key, if Taemin gets better, everything will be fine. It may not be how it used to be but –"

"J-Jonghyun just stop!" Key wailed. "It's not going to be the same again! Taemin and Minho might get better but it won't be the same!"

Jonghyun clamped his mouth shut, knowing that Key wouldn't listen to reason. So instead he held his friend tighter, fighting back his tears.

"Kibum, it's going to be okay. I've got you, you're okay." He whispered, his shoulders shaking as his body begged to cry alongside the boy in his arms.

No, I can't cry…

After a couple minutes of nothing but Key's quiet sobs and the beeping of the heart monitor by Taemin's bed, Key finally spoke.

"I'm g-glad that man got what he deserved." Key hissed vehemently, shocking Jonghyun once more.

Key never spoke like _that_ either.

"K-Key?" He spluttered, his eyes going wide.

"I'm glad he died! He ruined our lives! Taemin might die because of him!"

Jonghyun's shock was quickly replaced with anger.

"Kim Kibum, look at me." He demanded coldly.

"No!"

"Look at me!" He cried.

Now it was Key's turn to look completely shocked and with wide, disbelieving, tear-stained eyes, he looked up at the older boy.

Jonghyun's jaw was set in a defiant line, something close to a scowl on his face, and his eyes looked dark, darker than usual.

For the first time in his life, Key was afraid of Kim Jonghyun, his greatest friend.

"I don't _ever_ want to hear you say that again, Kim Kibum! Do you understand? Never! I know it was that man's fault, for being drunk and deciding to still drive! I know it was his fault that Taemin and Minho ended up here! I know it's his fault that Taemin is lying in a coma! But…that doesn't mean he deserved to die! What if he had family or friends that loved and cared about him very much! He made a mistake, Key, everyone does. No one's perfect…and think, it was almost just as much Minho and Taemin's fault for not looking as they crossed the street as it was that man's. So you all need to stop blaming yourselves! It's over! It happened! We can't change anything!"

By this time, the tears had escaped and were streaming down the older boy's face. His whole body shook and he found it hard to talk past the lump in his throat.

Key stared at him in shock and, without thinking, pulled his hyung into a large hug, deciding that Jonghyun needed more comfort than he did.

"I'm sorry, Jonghyun." He whispered. "I'm so sorry. You've been so strong for us…and all this time no one realized that you were really breaking inside…we've all been blaming ourselves and we haven't paid any attention to you…I'm sorry."

That's how Onew found them a couple minutes later, sitting on the floor with shattered glass around them, cutting into their hands and their knees, holding one another. Both were still crying hard as they tried to comfort the other with softly spoken words.

He felt his heart break all over again and suddenly he didn't know what to do.

He had always known what to do. He always knew what to say to cheer one of his boys up, what random act of hilarity to perform, when they needed a hug or when they needed a shoulder to cry on.

He always knew. It was like he could read their minds and know just when they needed him. They always did the same for him too.

But seeing Jonghyun and Key finally break down…he wasn't sure he could do anything to help them.

He felt his eyes water and he quickly ran to his dongsaengs, gathering them both up in his arms.

"Hyung…"Jonghyun whispered, holding on to Onew as if he were a lifeline.

"I'm here, guys, I'm here. We're going to get through this, I promise."

He heard Key sniff, and felt the younger's hand bunch up the front of his shirt.

"How can you be so sure, hyung?"

Onew almost smiled.

"Because we are SHINee." He answered. Jonghyun and Key looked up at him with curious eyes.

This time he did smile. He let go of Key for a second to hold up his arm, his hand curled in a fist and his eyes bright.

"Fighting."

Jonghyun grinned, color and light returning to his eyes – something Onew hadn't seen since the accident in anyone's eyes - and copied his actions.

"Fighting." He echoed.

"Fighting…"Key repeated quietly, a small smile on his face as well.


End file.
